When I first moved to the UK, I was invited to a local resident’s home, and it struck me how different house-visiting etiquette can be across cultures. I found myself uncertain about the unwritten rules and customs here. Reflecting on that experience, I realised that many people might feel the same when visiting homes in Japan.
While every culture has its nuances, Japan places particular importance on etiquette when it comes to visiting someone’s home. If you’re ever invited to a Japanese home, understanding these customs is essential, as it not only shows respect for your host but also deepens your appreciation of Japanese culture.
In this article, I’ll walk you through some key points to keep in mind before stepping through the door of a Japanese household. From the proper way to greet your host, to knowing when and where to remove your shoes and even the tradition of bringing a thoughtful gift, these insights will help you navigate a Japanese home visit to make a great impression. Whether you’re planning a trip to Japan, or simply curious about cultural differences, this guide will offer you a glimpse into the unique etiquette surrounding house visits in Japan.
The Concept of “In” (内) and “Out” (外)
One of the most fundamental concepts to understand when visiting a Japanese home is the distinction between “In” (uchi 内) and “Out” (soto 外). This idea reflects the broader cultural values of purity, cleanliness, and the clear separation between the outside world, which is considered dirty or impure, and the inside of the home, which is seen as a clean and sacred space.
When you enter a Japanese house, you’ll typically encounter a special area called the genkan (玄関), which serves as a transitional space between the “outside” and “inside” worlds. The genkan is often a slightly sunken or separated area at the entrance, made of tile or stone, known as doma (土間). This design signals that this is where you remove your shoes. The practice of taking off shoes before entering the main part of the house isn’t just about keeping the floors clean—it’s a symbolic gesture of leaving the dirt and impurities of the outside world behind before stepping into the inner sanctum of someone’s home.
This clear division of “In” and “Out” is not just physical but also reflects a mental and emotional boundary—entering someone’s home in Japan means you are welcomed into their private, intimate space, which is treated with great care and respect. The ritual of removing your shoes is one of the first steps in acknowledging and honouring that boundary.
By understanding and respecting the concept of “In” and “Out,” you’ll not only avoid a social faux pas but also demonstrate your appreciation for the deep-rooted customs that shape Japanese hospitality.
The origin of the custom of removing shoes
1. Shinto Beliefs
In Shinto, the indigenous religion of Japan, purity and cleanliness are of paramount importance. It is believed that removing shoes before entering a home helps maintain the sanctity and cleanliness of the living space, protecting it from outside impurities. This practice aligns with the Shinto idea of keeping sacred spaces pure, as shoes, having traversed the outside world, are seen as carriers of dirt and negative energy. By removing them, individuals symbolically leave behind the impurities of the outside world before entering a protected, inner space.
2. Humidity Control
Japan’s climate, especially during the rainy season and humid summers, has made indoor cleanliness and comfort a priority. The custom of removing shoes can be traced back to practical concerns around managing humidity and dirt. Walking indoors with shoes would bring in mud and moisture, which could easily lead to damp conditions in traditional wooden houses, fostering mould and decay. To avoid this, shoes are left at the entrance, and the home is kept cleaner and drier, ensuring a more comfortable living environment.
3. Samurai Tradition
During the Edo period (1603–1868), samurai played a significant role in shaping Japanese social customs. The practice of removing footwear before entering a residence had practical and cultural significance. Samurai were required to leave both their shoes and weapons at the entrance to indicate they came in peace. This custom gradually spread to the general populace, with shoes symbolising the harshness of the outside world. Removing them became a mark of respect, ensuring the home remained a tranquil and peaceful space.
These three aspects—religious beliefs, practical climate considerations, and cultural customs—combined to solidify the practice of removing shoes in Japan, a tradition that continues to this day.
Being Offered Slippers in a Japanese Household
In Japan, shoes are seen as carriers of the outside world’s dust and grime, so keeping them on inside the house would be considered disrespectful and unhygienic. Instead, guests are provided with indoor slippers to wear after they’ve taken off their shoes in the genkan. Occasionally, in more traditional homes, you might even find separate slippers for different areas of the house, such as those exclusively for the toilet.
However, in some Japanese households, you may not be offered a pair of slippers, which means you’ll walk around in your socks. This is completely normal, and nothing to worry about! However, it’s a good idea to make sure your socks are in good condition—clean, tidy, and free of holes. While this may seem like a small detail, it’s simply a way to show that you respect the home you’re visiting and want to put your best foot forward—literally!
When Not to Wear the Slippers Provided
You may be offered slippers to wear inside the house, but it’s important to remember that when entering a tatami mat room, the slippers must be removed. Tatami mats, which are traditional Japanese flooring made from woven straw, hold a special place in Japanese culture. They are considered delicate and are meant to be kept clean, as they represent a space for relaxation, meditation, and sometimes even sleeping.
Wearing slippers on tatami can cause damage to the mats and is seen as disrespectful, as it brings the “outside” into what is meant to be a pure, sacred space within the home. In traditional settings, people sit or sleep directly on the tatami, so maintaining their cleanliness is crucial.
When entering a tatami room, it’s customary to leave your slippers at the doorway and walk on the mats in your socks or barefoot. This helps preserve the integrity of the mats and respects the tradition that surrounds them. Understanding this subtle but important rule will show your hosts that you are aware of and appreciate their customs, making your visit all the more gracious.
Bringing a Temiyage (Guest Gift)
When you’re invited to a Japanese home, it’s customary to bring a small gift, known as temiyage, as a gesture of gratitude and respect for your hosts. This tradition reflects the Japanese cultural emphasis on thoughtfulness and reciprocity, where even small acts of kindness are deeply appreciated. While the gift doesn’t need to be extravagant, it should be something thoughtful and well-presented.
Popular choices for temiyage include items that can be shared by the family, such as small cakes, biscuits, or seasonal fruits. In Japan, beautifully packaged sweets from a local shop or department store are highly appreciated. The idea behind these gifts is to bring something enjoyable that the entire household can savour together, fostering a sense of communal enjoyment and gratitude.
There’s no need to worry about wrapping the gift yourself, as when you purchase goods or foods in Japan, the shop will almost always wrap them beautifully for you. Presentation is key in Japanese culture, and shops take great pride in offering neatly wrapped goods.
When offering the gift, it’s polite to present it with both hands and a modest expression, such as, “This is just a little something for you” (tsumaranai mono desu ga), which is a humble way of showing that you don’t want to appear boastful.
While cakes, biscuits, and fruits are common choices, it is even more special to bring seasonal or local specialities. They show you’ve put extra care into selecting something unique. For example, bringing a box of fresh strawberries in spring or beautifully wrapped chestnut sweets in autumn can add a seasonal element to your gift.
Bringing a temiyage not only helps you honour the tradition of Japanese hospitality but also sets a warm, appreciative tone for your visit, making your hosts feel valued and respected.
In Conclusion
Visiting a Japanese home offers a wonderful opportunity to experience the rich and gracious customs of Japanese hospitality. Embracing these practices, by removing your shoes at the genkan and bringing a thoughtful temiyage, not only enriches your visit but also shows your respect and appreciation for your hosts’ traditions. With a little preparation and mindfulness, you can feel confident in being well-received and having an enjoyable visit.
Images:
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